The Internet

The Internet. Home of free speech, a bucket load of porn, and every moron with an opinion to voice.

I love the Internet. My blog's there for a start. However, some people seem to think that the ability to post anonymously means you can start spewing this hate filled bile everywhere.

 

Recently there has been a lot of controversy regarding a Facebook group called "Dead Baby Jokes". If I have to explain what it contains, then I'm shocked you've gotten this far in life, and I'm sickened by the thought of you breeding.

I understand that the material is upsetting. It's a horrible subject for some. There are those who want the group banned. Which is understandable. They find it in poor taste.

 

They say they're "entitled to their opinion" on the matter. Which gets right up my fucking nose. You cannot use a line like that to have something shut down. Your right to free speech does not, in any way, shape or form, outweigh someone else's.

Have a gander at the group, constant reader. People are posting things like "I'm a Christian and this is disgusting. People like you should be raped and murdered!".

Aye. That's very fucking religious of you, mate. I remember the words of Jesus; "Let he who is without sin commit buggery and murder every bastard who doesn't agree with him".

...actually. Hang on a tick. I'm no bible scholar but isn't one of those commandments about killing?

 

I want to know where we draw the line. If we remove this dead baby joke group, do we then remove those sending the worst threats to the creators? Do we take that particular profile off Facebook or do we ban them from the Internet entirely?

This week saw a young man getting arrested for sending threatening Twitter messages to an Olympic athlete. Fans found it to be in poor taste.

 

You cannot police the Internet. It's where free speech thrives. It's where gits like me are given the chance to complain about other gits who moan too much. And that is wonderful. If I was to walk into the city centre and start shouting about last nights TV, I'd be locked up, with everyone thinking I was mad as arseholes. Quite bloody rightly too.

Can you imagine walking up to a stranger, waving your latest sketch or poem in their face? "Read this!" you'd cry. "Fucking read this and tell me it's good!". The Internet gives us the chance to put ourselves out there. Be it with a big photo of you grinning like Cheshire cat, or with complete anonymity. We can judge and be judged and we can say what we want.

I've read chapters of a book, online, as an author has finished them. I've watched massive fans of a TV show painfully recreate a prop or do dramatic readings of their favourite lines. I have, thanks to a pissload of booze, zero sleep and wonderful group of friends, watched ET being passionately fingered.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

 

So don't let these people ruin the Internet for us. These people up on their high fucking horses, swimming in bile and hypocrisy.

What pisses me off (I can hear your sigh from here, dear reader. "There's more?") is these people who complain about finding humour in the Facebook group? These are the bastards who will shove a photo of some dying baby in your face, tubes out every orifice, and say "Like this photo! Don't ignore it! Like it or this baby will die and it'll be all your fault!".

 

Don't tell dead baby jokes. It's in poor taste. Take a picture of one almost there and ask people to like it because your sad little life has no meaning. Welcome to the Internet. Home of the bastards, bastion of hypocrisy and void of any once of sense. Don't forget to click 'Like'.

GWB

Humanity

 

Humanity. What the fuck is wrong with us? Last week an armed madman stood up in a crowded theatre and opened fire. 58 were injured. 12 people were killed.

The usual rent-a-quote arseholes chimed in, with the usual "Seriously, I'm way more concerned than anyone from the rival parties. Those guys don't give a fuck. Me? I'm all heart. Look at this tear. This is an actual tear from my face." Many, however, said it was far to early to discuss gun control. 12 people died. In the UK last year, there were 11 gun deaths in total. There were over 3000 in America.

Every year, some mental bastard goes on a rampage. Every year, you hear of a campus or a high school being surrounded by police because some lunatic has started shooting people.

So, when is the correct time to talk about gun control?

 

Here's what they have started to discuss; banning costumes in the cinema. Yup. That'll work. Good job, lads. Problem solved.

 

In America, you can walk into a supermarket to buy your bread, a few toys. Maybe a CD. Although, no swear words. God forbid you should have to hear some artist sing "fuck". That's dangerous. Could put ideas in your head. Oh. You can also buy a rifle that will turn deer into a jam-like substance on a tree. Think about that. Rap music is censored, yet you can buy the gun Dirty Harry used to make that criminal shit himself.

 

I know what they'll do next. You can bet some money on this, thank me later. First up;

 

Comic books are too violent! This one doesn't get wheeled out enough, but as it was a Batman movie, it'll come up. They'll talk about the fact that he said he was The Joker, and that's what led to his rampage. They'll fail to mention that without healthcare or a wheelbarrow stuffed with cash, healthcare is impossible to receive, no matter how sick you are. This bloke had problems. No doubt about that. However, would he have had these ideas if he had access to proper medical care?

 

Video games! I fucking love this one, this is my favourite. Every time there's a violent incident in the news some pompous arsehole who hasn't played a game since Pong was the be all and end all sticks his nose in and tells us that if, in a virtual world, you beat a virtual hooker with a virtual baseball bat, then you'll go fucking mental and kill people. Well, Professor Von Ballbag, allow me to disprove your theory; I am 23. I've played games since I was a kid. If a barista gets my coffee order wrong, 9 times out of 10, I drink the fucking thing. I've never snapped and tried to beat him to death with a biscotti.

 

America. Abortions are wrong, gays shouldn't get married but god fucking help you if you try to take away their guns.

 

GWB

Rants

I've been told I complain too much on Facebook. Which is pretty fucking ironic considering the rubbish people post there.


So, in the spirit of the modern age, I've decided to start a blog thinking people actually bloody read the things. I've never had much of an opinion on blogs. I know a bloke who's almost turned his into a career. At the same time, I know many others who fill it with things I honestly, utterly, could not give two tugs of a dead dogs cock about (am vaguely aware that I may be doing this myself right now. No need to point that out, imaginary person reading this). I used to think blogs were something an emo would use to inform all his emo mates that his emo crush is actually shagging that other emo bloke with the bigger scars & thicker eyeliner.


Then I read somewhere that people use blogs to talk about anything. Technology, fashion, games, comics & so forth. People make money & friends because they're a little nerdy in certain areas & can talk about said areas in an interesting manner. This is great! I'm a massive fucking nerd. So I can utilise that when I go off on my wee rants. ...though more than likely, I'll just complain about the very stupid shit humanity gets up to. Which could take an age. Because, if we're honest, we really are morons.



This isn't a proper blog post. This is just to test the water. I'll keep in eye out for viewers, maybe one of you lovely, non-imaginary, lot will send me a bit of feedback.
I'm not sure what the theme of this will be. The first blog post was about blogs, for Christ's sake. That's some M.C. Escher level shit right there.


However, I'll try to add some consistency. Maybe a link between topics (other than sheer hatred of the human race). With any luck I'll do something right in my blog. One among millions. That's the fun of technology. Turns any arsehole with an Internet connection (me, in this instance) into a published writer. Better than nothing I suppose.





GWB.