Humanity

 

Humanity. What the fuck is wrong with us? Last week an armed madman stood up in a crowded theatre and opened fire. 58 were injured. 12 people were killed.

The usual rent-a-quote arseholes chimed in, with the usual "Seriously, I'm way more concerned than anyone from the rival parties. Those guys don't give a fuck. Me? I'm all heart. Look at this tear. This is an actual tear from my face." Many, however, said it was far to early to discuss gun control. 12 people died. In the UK last year, there were 11 gun deaths in total. There were over 3000 in America.

Every year, some mental bastard goes on a rampage. Every year, you hear of a campus or a high school being surrounded by police because some lunatic has started shooting people.

So, when is the correct time to talk about gun control?

 

Here's what they have started to discuss; banning costumes in the cinema. Yup. That'll work. Good job, lads. Problem solved.

 

In America, you can walk into a supermarket to buy your bread, a few toys. Maybe a CD. Although, no swear words. God forbid you should have to hear some artist sing "fuck". That's dangerous. Could put ideas in your head. Oh. You can also buy a rifle that will turn deer into a jam-like substance on a tree. Think about that. Rap music is censored, yet you can buy the gun Dirty Harry used to make that criminal shit himself.

 

I know what they'll do next. You can bet some money on this, thank me later. First up;

 

Comic books are too violent! This one doesn't get wheeled out enough, but as it was a Batman movie, it'll come up. They'll talk about the fact that he said he was The Joker, and that's what led to his rampage. They'll fail to mention that without healthcare or a wheelbarrow stuffed with cash, healthcare is impossible to receive, no matter how sick you are. This bloke had problems. No doubt about that. However, would he have had these ideas if he had access to proper medical care?

 

Video games! I fucking love this one, this is my favourite. Every time there's a violent incident in the news some pompous arsehole who hasn't played a game since Pong was the be all and end all sticks his nose in and tells us that if, in a virtual world, you beat a virtual hooker with a virtual baseball bat, then you'll go fucking mental and kill people. Well, Professor Von Ballbag, allow me to disprove your theory; I am 23. I've played games since I was a kid. If a barista gets my coffee order wrong, 9 times out of 10, I drink the fucking thing. I've never snapped and tried to beat him to death with a biscotti.

 

America. Abortions are wrong, gays shouldn't get married but god fucking help you if you try to take away their guns.

 

GWB

Rants

I've been told I complain too much on Facebook. Which is pretty fucking ironic considering the rubbish people post there.


So, in the spirit of the modern age, I've decided to start a blog thinking people actually bloody read the things. I've never had much of an opinion on blogs. I know a bloke who's almost turned his into a career. At the same time, I know many others who fill it with things I honestly, utterly, could not give two tugs of a dead dogs cock about (am vaguely aware that I may be doing this myself right now. No need to point that out, imaginary person reading this). I used to think blogs were something an emo would use to inform all his emo mates that his emo crush is actually shagging that other emo bloke with the bigger scars & thicker eyeliner.


Then I read somewhere that people use blogs to talk about anything. Technology, fashion, games, comics & so forth. People make money & friends because they're a little nerdy in certain areas & can talk about said areas in an interesting manner. This is great! I'm a massive fucking nerd. So I can utilise that when I go off on my wee rants. ...though more than likely, I'll just complain about the very stupid shit humanity gets up to. Which could take an age. Because, if we're honest, we really are morons.



This isn't a proper blog post. This is just to test the water. I'll keep in eye out for viewers, maybe one of you lovely, non-imaginary, lot will send me a bit of feedback.
I'm not sure what the theme of this will be. The first blog post was about blogs, for Christ's sake. That's some M.C. Escher level shit right there.


However, I'll try to add some consistency. Maybe a link between topics (other than sheer hatred of the human race). With any luck I'll do something right in my blog. One among millions. That's the fun of technology. Turns any arsehole with an Internet connection (me, in this instance) into a published writer. Better than nothing I suppose.





GWB.